The latest trend has taken the internet by storm and I do not understand what has hit the fashion industry.
It's 2019 and I am starting to think I don't understand fashion anymore. Either that or the clothing industry has seriously lost it. Adding to all the extremely questionable 'things' we have seen in the name of 'trend' so far, the latest is underwear-like denim short - Janties. Launched by a major luxury clothing brand called SSense, the very brief briefs are made of denim and can be worn inside or outside, depending upon your mood. According to the brand, this new creation will 'take your Canadian tuxedo to the next level.' Okay, on a scale of 1 to 10, how drunk are you?
"Denim is a blank canvas. No longer merely known for its dependable twill-weave or for that matter, limited to legwear, denim’s new (and many) iterations are reframing the wardrobe staple beyond its heritage roots," the company introduced its weird denim collection and in case you have money pouring out of all your ends and you don't know where to spend it, you can make these jeans underwear yours for £235 GBP which is approximately $305 USD.
"Denim can be cheeky. And eye-catching. These “brief-style shorts” can be worn under or over pants, meaning they’re far more versatile than what you’d traditionally expect from a pair of briefs. Underwear that doesn’t need to stay “under there," SSense proudly describes the product. Imagine going to Walmart on a beautiful Sunday morning and spotting someone wearing these. Sounds horrifying? That day isn't far.
But at least unlike other women clothing, these ones have pockets, right? "These denim brief-style shorts in navy. Fading throughout. Mid-rise. Three-pocket styling. Belt-loops at waistband. Copper-tone hardware. Tonal stitching. 100% cotton. Imported." The shorts are designed by a Paris based label called Y/Project which describes itself as “conceptual and inventive." The janties are available in black as well if you are wondering. Knock yourselves out and buy them here.
While these shorts are currently making rounds on social media and people are mocking the sh*t out of them, another joker of the town is Gucci. The Italian luxury brand known for its overpriced bags, clothes, basically everything, to be honest, is now selling sneakers which look worse than the old pair of shoes you hide in your shoe rack for 'emergency purposes.' Priced at $930, you can now rock Gucci sneakers which 'look' dirty and prove I am not sure what. Why go outside and dirty your own damn shoes when you can pay Gucci some serious $$$ and have them do it for you?
And, hold up, $930 is only the starting price, your highness. You can also own special edition ugly AF dirty shoes made for women for $1,250 which comes with an eyesore Gucci calls 'cherries' and makes the pair of shoes literally the most hideous thing I have seen in my life. But, but, but, several shoe-sizes of the dirty shoe collection have already sold out.
Humans in 1950: "Someday we will have flying cars."
Humans in 2019: *pay $1,250 to buy dirty shoes.*
“Influenced by classic trainers from the ’70s, the Screener sneakers—named for the defensive sports move feature the Web Stripe on the side and vintage Gucci logo, treated for an allover distressed effect,” reads the description of the insanely overpriced shoes available in shades of green, red, and greyish white which Gucci claims looks 'vintage.' VINTAGE. I'll have what the marketing and designing department of Gucci is having...
Meant for rich people who wish to look poor on purpose, the 'luxury' shoe comes with some cleaning instructions...Buy a dirty looking shoe but clean it properly so it stays dirty? What the f**k. "Fill shoe with tissue paper to help maintain the shape and absorb humidity, then store in the provided flannel bag and box. Clean when the shoe is dry, using only neutral or same-color products to avoid staining. Should the material become wet, dry it with a soft, dry cloth." Are you listening, Thanos?
Denim micro panty-like shorts teamed with overpriced dirty Gucci sneakers? I can already smell a rapper writing a song about this...